The end and the beginning
by Donoterase
Summary: Cameron's system runs an unknown program.
1. Chapter 1

The back door bursts open to reveal a bloody and dirty trio; Sarah has John's right arm around her neck and is holding his right wrist with her left hand, her other arm is behind his back to support him as he hobbles inside. To his left Cameron is holding the door open with her right hand and carrying a duffle bag filled with guns of all types and sizes.

When they reach the kitchen Sarah helps John to get his back against the table but when he attempts to put weight on his arms to lift himself up his left arm gives way and it takes all of an exhausted Sarah's strength to keep him from falling. The next instant John is lifted off the floor and placed onto the table like a two year old. Sarah moves behind him and lifts a piece of cloth that was hastily stuck to his left shoulder blade, re-applying enough pressure to get a groan from John she looks up to find Cameron standing in the doorway with the larger first-aid kit that they kept in the bathroom.

Sarah: "I don't think that's work this time, we need to get him to a hospital."

John: "No."

Sarah: "John..."

John: "No, mom. How many times have you needed to go to the hospital and wouldn't?"

Sarah: "That different."

John (raising his voice): "How... how is it different?"

Sarah: "You have to be kept save."

Cameron: "Your mother knows that it is your destiny to save mankind, your life is the most important thing and hence she has concluded that her own life is insignificant."

John: "Mom, is that true?"

Sarah squares her jaw and throws Cameron a death glare but does not respond.

John: "Mom?"

Sarah: "We don't have time for this; you're losing too much blood."

John (trying to sound resolute): "Fine, but we are going to talk about this... (his voice changing to that of a much younger John) ... right?"

Sarah (looking at the wound): "Fine. (tone of voice change) This is too deep, you need stitches...I can't...John I don't know how."

John turns his attention to Cameron, "You've seen Charlie do it right?"

Cameron: "Yes."

John: "Can you do it?"

Cameron: "Yes."

John: "Ok well then it's settled."

Cameron immediately steps closer with a syringe but Sarah grabs her wrist.

John: "Mom...please ok, Cameron can do this – you let her stay in the house; go with me to school; she has full, unrestricted access to the guns...please don't try to pretend like you don't trust her – I know you do and it's ok cause I trust her too, trust is earned and she's done it many times over."

Sarah releases her grip from the terminator's wrist and willingly accepts that the only reason for it freezing mid-air is because Cameron is programmed not to harm John or her, at the same time re-convincing herself that there was no way that the tingling that originated at her fingertips upon making contact with the terminator's skin could have any anything affect on Cameron. She quickly and quietly steadies herself by swallowing the lump she finds in her throat before turning her full attention to John.

Sarah: "How did you become so wise and stubborn?"

John smiles weakly but before he can reply Cameron steps forward.

Cameron: "I believe those qualities to be hereditary - John got them from you."

This gets a chuckle from John, which suddenly turns into a hissing sound as he sucks air in through clenched teeth when the needle disappears into his upper arm.

John: "Uurg Cameron, I thought you said you know what you're doing."

Cameron: "I do."

He just rolls his eyes at this. Cameron and Sarah help him to lie down on his right side on the kitchen table.

Sarah glances at Cameron who is pulling a piece of thread through a needle, then leans over John and runs her right hand over his forehead and the hair that he's allowed to grow a little longer.

Sarah: "Everything's gonna be okay; your gonna be fine and I'm gonna be right here."

John eyelids drift open and close as she talks to him.

Cameron: "The sedative is taking effect."

After John's breathing slows and becomes shallow Cameron moves around to begin. Sarah moves around John to watch what Cameron is doing, but this passive position only lasts for a few minutes as she moves around and hunches in front of John to monitor his pulse and ruffle his hair. Upon her third time taking John's pulse in 20 minutes Cameron glances up from where she is working to look at Sarah.

Cameron: "You are scared for your son." Sarah didn't know if it was a statement or a question but she finds herself answering without a hint of sarcasm, "Yes."

Cameron: "I believe that I am worried as well, but John is young and you have ensured a healthy diet and he does regular exercise which increases his chances of making a full recovery."

Sarah: "You mean that his running for his life from a machine that's trying to kill him on a regular basis."

Cameron: "The activity has the same effect on John's body as a regular exercise program; he has increased his long capacity, and his muscles are suppler than that of the average 21 year old –so in this instance running for his life has increased his chances of survival."

Sarah opens her mouth to reply but discovers that she does not know what to say and closes her mouth again, just looking from Cameron to her son on the table.

Sarah: "Just get it done will you."

Cameron immediately looks down and continues, after a few seconds she speaks without raising her head.

Cameron: "I believe that you will experience less stress if you occupy yourself with doing something constructive."

Sarah: "Oh really, and what constructive activity would that be."

Cameron: "You could remove the two bullets wedged in my back; I know that you prefer I do it myself but I will require assistance with these as they are beyond the point my arms can reach."

Sarah: "Fine, as long as I don't have to stand around being useless."

As Sarah moves around the other woman places the needle on the table next to John and moves her hands to the hem of her shirt.

Sarah: "What are you doing?"

Cameron: "I would prefer if you could see what you are doing."

Sarah: "Is that sarcasm?" But before Cameron can answer she continues, "Listen, this was your idea; besides if you could see you'd know taking off your shirt wouldn't be much of an improvement back here, so just focus on John okay?"

Cameron was already back to stitching up John when she answered with a simple "Okay."

While working Sarah notices Cameron's neck twitch. After finishing with the two bullet wounds Sarah steps back to resume surveying Cameron as she works, but she's only able to do it for a few moments when Cameron steps back. Sarah's about to ask how it looks when she notices the twitch again.

Sarah: "What is that, what's happening?"

Cameron looks down at her right hand; covered in John's blood.

Sarah: "Cameron?"

Cameron: "My system is running an unknown program."

Sarah: "What do you mean 'an unknown program'?" She glances at John, then the shotgun lying on the kitchen floor where she had disregarded it when they first brought John in, then back at Cameron. "What's it doing?"

Cameron follows Sarah's eyes to the shotgun, and then shifts her focus to John, "Analysing John's blood."

Sarah moves backward to the shotgun as she speaks, "That's all, do you know why?"

Cameron: "Yes. No."

Sarah picks up the gun: "Are you...going evil on us?"

This makes Cameron's gaze move to lock onto Sarah's, "I will not harm John...or you." With this she turns on her heal and quietly walks to the bathroom, closing the door behind her.

Sarah stares after her; releasing a breath she didn't know she was holding as the door clicked close. She moves to John, choosing to keep a loose grip on the shotgun as she glances at the closed bathroom door again.

In the bathroom

Cameron opens the tap as her neck twitches again. She proceeds to wash John's blood from her hands; looking up at her reflection she sees that for once she did not sustain any significant damage to her face. A few scratches on her left check and a cut above her right eye, revealing a thin line of gleaming metal could hardly be considered damage compared to what she usually looks like. While watching her reflection a message starts flickering in front of her eyes: In green: _Analyses complete. Age of John Connor: 21_. And in red: _Mission complete_.

Suddenly Cameron's eyes go wide and she only manages a soft "Sarah" before dropping to the bathroom floor.


	2. Chapter 2

In the kitchen Sarah dips a cotton ball into the small bowl of antiseptic that Cameron had used and is busy cleaning the cut on the bridge of John's nose when a sudden crash from the bathroom causes her to jump and instinctively place herself between John and the sudden noise – shotgun aimed and ready.

She waits for a few moments before crouching slightly and, silently placing one foot in front of the other, quickly making her way to the bathroom. At arm's length from the door she hesitates, "Cameron?", when there's not reply she moves to the door, pressing the shotgun more firmly against her shoulder and keeping her finger on the trigger she uses the other hand to push open the door. Upon seeing Cameron lying on the floor it takes all of Sarah's self-control to not simply fling the shotgun aside; instead she tries to use her voice to determine if Cameron is aware of her presence, "Cameron, can you hear me?"

She places the shotgun against the wall while talking and then goes down on one knee to press the palm of her right hand against Cameron's forehead to try and still the woman's head which is rolling from side-to-side. The rest of her body is jerking and the only thing Sarah thinks was seizure - but that's not possible.

Sarah: "Cameron."

It looks like the woman's eyes are searching for the source of the voice, but just as her eyes fall on Sarah's worried face they became unbelievably wide and a cry is torn from her lips causing her to throw her head back and her back to arch of the tile floor. Sarah recoils at the pain-filled cry but her hand remains on the other woman's forehead. After a moment of wild thrashing Cameron's body stills and her shoulders rock back to the floor. Sarah shifts so that she's on her knees and, supporting the weight of her upper body on her left arm, leans forward so that her face is hovering above Cameron's.

Sarah: "Cameron?"

This time Cameron's eyes open to immediately focus on Sarah's and after a few heartbeats Sarah's whispered name fills the suddenly quiet bathroom. Sarah opens her mouth to say something but is frozen in place when Cameron's left hand finds its way to the back of her neck. The contact causes a shiver to work its way down Sarah's spine and she closes her eyes. Before having time to comprehend what is happening Sarah feels her face being drawn down by the hand on her neck, but suddenly her brain kicks in again and she throws her eyelids open to find herself much closer to Cameron than she should be comfortable with.

Cameron continues to urge Sarah closer. "Sarah, I'm scared"; having kept eye-contact the entire time Sarah is even more affected by the whispered words as she realises that she never had any intention of resisting what was about to happen. She closes her eyes and can feel Cameron's breath on her face, knowing that Cameron's lips are mere inches from her own makes her tense and in this moment she feels the hand on her neck lose its grip and slip to the floor. Sarah opens her eyes and sees that Cameron's features have gone completely slack.

Sarah: "Cameron?"

Instincts take over; Sarah drags her fingers from Cameron's forehead to the pulse point on her neck. Upon finding what she's looking for Sarah's face relaxes somewhat. But then her frown returns; removing her fingers from the girl's neck Sarah finds bright silver liquid on her fingertips, she rubs her thumb over them and watches as the alien liquid smears. When she looks back at the other woman her frown deepens as she reaches out and uses those same fingers to dab at the thin line of silver liquid running from the corner of a closed eyelid and watches as the same happens at the cut above Cameron's eye.

Her thoughts are interrupted by a sound coming from the kitchen. She flies up and out of the room, coming to an abrupt halt outside the kitchen door at the site of John sitting with both feet dragged up onto the table, his head resting on his right knee while the bandaged left arm hangs by his side. She makes her way over to him.

Sarah: "How are you feeling?"

John: "Like Cameron might actually have known what she was doing."

He attempts humour but when he sees the look on his mother's face he becomes serious.

John: "Mom, what's going on?"

He rubs his good hand roughly over his face in an attempt to clear the cobwebs from his brain.

Sarah holds her right hand up for him to see the liquid on her fingers.

Sarah: "Do you know what this is?"

John (hesitantly): "No, where'd it come from?"

Sarah: "Cameron."

John: "What?"


	3. Chapter 3

John looks utterly confused, "What do you mean it's coming from Cameron? She was fine when I went under wasn't she?" John tries to get off the table but pain makes him freeze in an awkward position. Sarah moves gets a bottle of water from the fridge and grabs the pain killers from the open first-aid bag on her way over to him. He takes them without complaint and after a look from his mother downs half the water. After almost a minute of complete silence he decides the matter at hand is important enough to justify bringing his mother back from where ever her thoughts have taken her, "Mom...?" She begins talking as if she had not been miles away, "She seemed fine but then she said her system was running an unknown program and she stormed off to the bathroom after I asked her if she was going evil again." The very definite line between John's eyebrows shows his annoyance but it does not reach his voice, "You know she's sensitive about the whole going evil thing."

Sarah bites her tongue and chooses to not acknowledge the fact that John talks and thinks of Cameron as being more than she is because a consequence of doing it would be to acknowledge that she does it too. Instead she simply continues, "I heard something and found her lying on the floor, this stuff..." she lifts her fingers for emphasis, "...running from her eyes and mouth, then I heard you...I was afraid you might roll of the table." John had taken at least five strides by the time she looks up. "John, wait. You don't know what might be happening to her." John ignores her and by the time she enters the bathroom a large silver puddle had formed all around the terminator and he is on his knees running his fingers through her hair. "What are you doing?" "Looking for something." "What?" "I don't know, anything. Every time something has gone wrong or happened to her it was connected to the..." He holds very still before removing his hand from Cameron's scalp and looking up at his mom. "Did you do this? Don't lie to me mom, did you do this cause you think she might be going evil." Sarah's expression shows a hint of hurt but even more so John sees that she feels insulted and he immediately feels foolish for suggesting it, he would never claim to understand whatever it is that is between Cameron and his mother, but he does know that for Sarah trust is earned and lately there seemed to be less hostility, and after the last time Cameron stepped in front of a bullet...more like a shower of bullets... for him he heard his mother thank the terminator and it was definitely a step in some direction that did not suggest Sarah wanting to disband Cameron at every turn.

John drops his eyes. "John." "I'm sorry, I know you won't just take out her chip but it is just that..." He forgets his apology when Sarah bends to grab Cameron under her arms and attempts to drag her in the direction of the shower with a heave. "Mom, what..." "Talk later, just help me get her inside." "Mom she is a terminator, the fact that you are able to lift her at all..." "Just do it." Sarah growls out through clenched teeth. John takes Cameron's left arm from his mother and though his knees buckle under the weight he is able to keep her shoulders of the tile floor. "This is so weird, her mass must have almost halved for us to be able to do this. Mom I don't know how..." Sarah was fine when he was talking and moving but when it causes him to pause in his movements she interrupts him. "What I do know is that whatever this silver stuff is...it's getting hotter...look at her face, if it keeps going like this it's going to melt her skin off." "Right, but how...oh the shower, good idea." Once they have Cameron inside an out of breath Sarah sends an exhausted looking John to get to work on the chip before turning the cold water on full blast. She uses a washcloth to wipe the side of Cameron's face and neck; her eyes follow the thin rivers of silver and watch them disappear down the collar of the plain black shirt, she drops the cloth and hesitates only a moment before reaching for the top button.

In the other room John was staring at the computer screen, he was in complete shock. Suddenly he reaches out to pauses the video message, rewinding it he sits closer to the screen and plays it again, pausing it again he sits for a moment but when he hears the front door open and heavy footsteps moving to the bathroom he jumps up so fast that the chair goes flying. "Mom!" Bursting into the bathroom he sees the terminator standing about three feet from the shower, the curtain had been thrown back to reveal Sarah standing over an underwear clad Cameron, smoke rising from the barrel of the gun in her hands. Her eyes move to John and then back to the machine her finger squeezing the trigger again. "Mom, no!" She hesitates when the terminator continues to stand rooted in the same spot. "Mom you have to let him take Cameron, he's here to help...mom, we don't have time." The urgency in his voice causes Sarah to lower the weapon and to step aside. The machine has Cameron in its arms instantly and is out the door before either human can react. "What the hell is going on?" The machine comes back out of Sarah bedroom but returns just as soon after picking up an enormous freezer type container. "It's on the chip but I can't really tell you...mom please just wait okay...he's here to work on Cameron just give it a couple of hours. Trust me, please." Sarah glances at her closed bedroom door, "Are you sure it's not a trick or a trap?" "Mom, every mission we...I trust your judgement, but right now I'm asking you to trust I _me_." For a moment it seems like she is going to disregard what has been said but then her shoulders slump. "Fine." "Thanks, I need to get back to the chip. Want some coffee?" "I'll get it." She glances at the door once more before moving to the kitchen.


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4**

John continues to watch and re-watch parts of the message not completely comprehending what he's hearing. Staring at an older version of yourself is strange enough but this one was also listing all of the mistakes that John was yet to make and that he was suppose to try and avoid making.

Future John looks tired but hopeful as he talks into a hand held video camera. "I understand that this has to be very strange for you, believing what I'm about to tell you is not going to be easy but there is no other way – you simply have to accept it without question." In the background a door is blown off its hinges and thrown across the room, future John only glances over his shoulder before continuing. "We don't have much time so I can't even begin to explain to you how many times we've tried this and everything that's happened. I'm telling you only what you absolutely have to know."

It is almost an hour later that John walks out of his room; he's on autopilot which is why he turns left and is almost in the kitchen before realising that something to the right of his door should have caught his attention. He turns back to find his mother sitting on the floor between his bedroom door and hers; her knees pulled up to her chest, arms wrapped securely around them and her head resting on them.

His first thought is that before Cameron there was no way that he would have been able to open that door without her jumping up and pointing a gun at him, he wasn't sure at first but this confirmed that she was indeed sleeping better and finding it easier to do, even in places other than her bed. When he gets to her he bends down and is reaching for the cold, empty coffee mug by her feet when her right hand snaps up to wrap around his wrist. "Mom...come on – don't do that!" She drags her other hand over her face. "Don't sneak up on me when I'm sleeping." It is only then that she notices his raised eyebrow and lets go of her arm. Her expression is apologetic but her tone is matter of fact. "You should know better by now." His instinct is to disagree but after a moment he releases a sigh. "Yeah, yeah I should. What are you doing sitting here?" Sarah is saved from answering by the door to her bedroom opening. She is up in an instant and places herself between it and John.

The terminator stops right in front of them. "John Connor. The procedure was successful. Cameron Phillips's condition is stable. Please do not enter the room for another 48 hours." John does not hesitate; "State your ID and mission." "I'm known as Adam and my mission is to protect John Connor and to insure the survival of the human race." Sarah looks from John to the machine and back at John who nods before simply stating "Go monitor the perimeter." The terminator immediately turns and walks off. Sarah finds herself staring at her son, she had not noticed it before but something was different, it was in the way that he carried himself and the way that he talked to the terminator...with conviction and authority.

"What was on the chip?" For a moment he looks like a young boy again. "I can't really tell you everything...actually I can't really tell you anything." Seeing the anger rise in her eyes he quickly tries another route. "But it's not my fault, I mean it is but not me me, it's the other me, the older me." He stops and takes a deep breath before trying again. "On the chip, it was an older me...he told me stuff that he said you could not know. They have done it before mom, this is not the first time that Cameron's been sent back." "What?" "I can only tell you that Cameron has been sent back more than once, every time things went south she found a way back to the future and they tried again." Sarah is silent for a moment before looking at the door to what used to be her latest bedroom. "He said procedure...you know anything about that?" "That...yeah it was on the chip but that's more complicated." Sarah's eyes narrow as she tries to read her son's expression. "How much more complicated?"


	5. Chapter 5

John runs a hand through his hair before taking a deep breath. "Okay, here goes. Sometime in the future we...I mean they...you know what I mean...they found a factory where the machines were working on something that they have never seen before. They were working on turning humans into terminators or something..."

He sees his mother is about to speak but continues before she can. "I don't know how and I don't know why so don't ask. Bottom line is this: Cameron was human; she was as human as we are. Then they found the factory and for some reason I thought sending back one of these 'human-turned-terminators' would be the best idea and Cameron volunteered."

He shakes his head. "Mind you it didn't work the first time. Looks like I've done a lot more jumping through time than we thought. No wonder the world is so screwed up." Seeing the expression directed at him he decides to make a greater effort to stick to the point. "Sorry. Anyway so we tried and tried again and then we got it right and I send her back the first time and she's been jumping back and forth trying to get it to work out right ever since."

Sarah is silent and motionless for so long that John is about to ask if she's meditating – it took Cameron three weeks before she finally agreed and though he did not know if she would ever admit it, he was of the opinion that she was starting to enjoy the sessions.

"She was human." The words are spoken so softly that he is not sure if he heard right, but then she looks right at him. "How is that possible? We've seen what she looks like on the inside John...she is a machine." His look is almost pleading and it is clear that he would not be able to provide the details if she asked for them. "We've known that she's different since the beginning, we just didn't know enough to know why. And now we do." An angry frown appears between her eyes, "Because she is a human being. Are you hearing yourself, do you understand what you're saying?"

John lowers his eyes, but only for a moment. "Yes. Yes I do, and I get that it is even more bizarre than what we're used to but it is true. I saw the labs, some of the medical reports, and test subjects." It is clear the last of these create a bad taste in his mouth. "But that is precisely why we need to do this, so that the future can be different and so that _that_ never happens to anyone, ever." She looks more worried than angry. "And how do we know we...you have not tried this before, you realise there is a possibility that you could be doing the same thing over and over again."

"That has happened, which is why this is so different, I've always been too scared to tell my younger self too much about the future, but this time..." He takes a moment to collect his thoughts. "Mom, he gave me electronic copies of dairies he...we kept, the one was given to him and the other one is his. I know more about the future than any of my other selves." Sarah tries, but the absurdity of it on top of practically no sleep and loads of caffeine is too much and laughter bubbles up from deep within. It lasts mere seconds. She stops suddenly; they simply stare at each other, neither knowing what to say. John awkwardly glances from side to side, re-establishes eye contact and a sly grin forms. They both open their mouths; John to make a smart-ass comment about his mothers' mental state and Sarah to tell him to not even think about it, but neither gets the opportunity as the door opens to reveal Adam.

The atmosphere shifts to one of complete seriousness. The grin vanishes from John's lips and the light-hearted glint from Sarah's eyes. The terminator stops in front of them. "Perimeter secure. John Connor, I have a private message for you." He looks to his mother and after a moment nods like he's convinced himself of something. "Follow me." With that he turns and walks to his bedroom and again Sarah notices an unfamiliar certainty in his walk, a not-seen-before strength in the set of his shoulders.

Twenty minutes later John follows the sound of meat sizzling, finding Sarah emptying a can of tomato puree into the pan. "Attempting bolognaise again?" he teases. The strain added by the conversation is clear but Sarah chooses to go along with his attempt to regain the light-heartedness they shared earlier. "Watch it, the last time I made it, it was good." He smiles. "Stirring does not constitute making, last time it was made Cameron did the making and you stirred." She wants to keep up the banter but at the mention of her name she finds herself staring at her bedroom door.

"He said procedure, what did he do to her?" He scratches at a beard that is not yet there. "I'm not exactly sure, he used a few terms that I didn't understand but I think..." Before he can continue Adam appears next to him. "John Connor, according to my scans and results from the blood you provided me with, for assignment Sarah_PL to be successful serum Z2001 needs to be administered as soon as possible." John looks flustered for a moment. "Yeah, okay...alright." Irritation is evident in Sarah's voice. "What is he talking about and what is my name doing in the middle of it?" John does not make any attempt at explaining. The next moment Sarah's left hand shoots out and closes around the wrist of the advancing hand of the terminator. John watches as his mother's right hand slips from the handle of the 9mm at the small of her back, moments after the syringe plunges into her neck. The pain is overwhelming; a burning sensation that originates at the end of the needle, spreading fast. She squeezes her eyes shut and grits her teeth. They pop back open and after searching for a moment land on John who manages "It's gonna be okay" before she goes limp and is stopped from hitting the ground by Adam, who has a hold on her bicep. John just stares; he looks annoyed, then angry.


	6. Chapter 6

**Author's note: Thank you to everyone who has taken the time to read and review. **

**To Alone, whom I would have preferred to contact in a more private way, please check the genre of this fic. I am not a fan of tragedy; there is always hope and though life can throw some mean curve balls, overall I find it not too bad. We do not always get what we want and while in real life we have to mostly suck it up and get on with it, when it comes to television shows we have fanfiction.**

..._John watches as his mother's right hand slips from the handle of the 9mm at the small of her back, moments after the syringe plunges into her neck. The pain is overwhelming; a burning sensation that originates at the end of the needle, spreading fast. She squeezes her eyes shut and grits her teeth. They pop back open and after searching for a moment land on John who manages "It's gonna be okay" before she goes limp and is stopped from hitting the ground by Adam, who has a hold on her bicep. John just stares; he looks annoyed, then angry._

"What the hell?!" Adam looks from John to Sarah and back. "You agreed that it should be done as soon as possible, immediately was the soonest possible time." John begins to say something but thinks better of it; instead he takes the injection from him and points to Cameron's room. "Put her in there...carefully."

When Adam returns John is still examining the syringe. "How many times?" "According to the records I am privy to this is the third." John nods absentmindedly. "What happened the other times, why didn't it work?" Adam turns his head slightly to the side. "The first time was unsuccessful because the formula was incorrect. The second time Sarah Connor died because she received the reformulated drug too late." He looks from one closed door to the other. "How long till she wakes up?" "The procedure was successful, the location was prepared..." "I'm talking about my mother Adam." "I do not have enough information to calculate an estimated time but it should be no more than eight hours." John pushes his fingers through his hair and scratches the back of his neck. "There is another two treatments, right?" "That is correct. The second must be given as soon as she regains consciousness and the third ninety minutes after the second."

"And Cameron, shouldn't you check on her at some point, a follow-up procedure or something?" "Negative. The procedure was done, she will survive and recover or she will not." For long moments John can do no more than look at him. He turns suddenly. "That's just great!" His reaction to the possibility of Cameron not being there is unexpected and prevents him from achieving the sarcasm he aims for. His movements are slow and careful as if he expects the floor to drop out from under him physically as well. Dropping onto the couch he puts his elbows on his knees and his head in his hands.

He starts talking before lifting his head. "I'm not blind, the way they've been acting and the vibe that's been...Cameron just better make it, for all our sakes." Adam responds immediately. "Affirmative. For the mission to be successful the continued existence of the subject known as Cameron is crucial." His head snaps up. "Thank you for stating the obvious Captain Duh." He is met by a neutral expression and no response. There is a part of John that wants to respond with more sarcasm even thought he knows that it will get him nowhere. In the end he decides to take a few calming breaths instead. "So did I program you to do anything aside from shooting and blowing stuff up?" "I have the necessary data to prepare your favourite meals, vacuum, do laundry and make your bed." This causes a amused expression. "That sounds great and you can do all that as needed...except making my bed, I don't know how lazy future-me remembers me being but that's taking it a bit far."

There is an uncomfortable silence before John rubs his eyes with his forefinger and thumb forming a V across the bridge of his nose. "I need to sleep. I should sleep. Check the perimeter every half hour and be on high alert, if Skynet so much as suspected what I'm trying this time round they'll know we'll be extra vulnerable for a period of time." He gets up and moves to his bedroom, on the way some kids playing in the street cause him pause at the window. He looks on and if the eyes are truly the windows to the soul, his eyes reveal the soul of a man not just many years his senior, but one that has endured more trails than one can in a single attempt at life. The words that flow from him are spoken softly, but the intensity with which they are said indicates just how true they are. "I'm not taking any chances; we need to get it right this time. This jumping through time thing is getting old...and so am I."


	7. Chapter 7

He knows that he should be grateful; so far things have gone as smoothly as they could have. There are just so many things that are just supposed to fall in place, that have to happen if they are to have a different future than the other times. And the thing that scares him the most is not Skynet or the Terminators, it is telling his mother the part that she is supposed to play, which she is not going to like but that is key... John is yanked from his thoughts by a loud crash and he's halfway off the couch before realising that it is coming from the television. Sitting back down he glances at his watch and is surprised to see that instead of the usual five minutes almost an hour had passed since he checked last. Adding that to the time he slept and the half hour he actually paid attention to the movie, he concludes that its been just over five and a half hours. He considers going through everything on the chip again but decides against it when Adam enters the room. "Perimeter is secure." He goes to turn around but is stopped by John, who tells him to sit down. "So, Cameron's system runs a program to determine if I'm 21 and when it confirms, you are activated and do whatever it is you did." He hesitates. "When she wakes up..." This time the cry comes from the opposite end of the house and is filled with such pain that there is no way that any actress could be responsible for it.

Darting round the corner and down the hall John is just in time to take hold of Sarah's shoulders as they lift of the bed. "Mom. It's okay, don't try to get up." He feels her allowing herself to be moved back down but then her eyes move from him to the other figure in the room and she instantly tries to get herself between the terminator and her son while at the same time making a grab for where she has taught him to have his firearm at all times during a high alert situation. Not finding it she gives him a very quick, very disapproving glance and renews her effort to get off the bed. "I will take you apart with my bare hands you metal..." In that moment John is very grateful for the disorientation caused by the medicine at any sudden movements, as it is the only reason he's able to keep Sarah on the bed. Adam remains perfectly still while speaking. "John Connor the second dose must be injected..." "As soon as possible. I know."

He tightens his hold. "Mom, calm down. Just listen..." Sarah tries to lunge from John's grip, but almost instantly stills with a groan escaping between clenched teeth. He feels her lean back and guides her to the bed. Adam is already injecting the serum when he looks up. "Sudden movements cause dizziness and possibly nausea..." John looks back at his mother, the mix of confusion, anger and fear that was in her eyes a moment ago make him snap. "I know! And the next time she wakes up you will wait outside. I will talk to her and she will know what is going on before we inject her again. She is not a lab rat!" "Order confirmed." Is the reply. John is so use to Cameron's inquisitive nature that he forgets Adam is a follow-orders-not-able-to-ask questions type of machine and for a moment has no response. Adam starts reporting as he removes the needle from Sarah's arm. "That she awoke in less than eight hours means that her body is rejecting the treatment only slightly or possible not at all. This increases the success rate of the operation considerably." John visibly relaxes and the corners of his mouth twitch up as he places the blanket over Sarah's unconscious form.


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

**Author's note: My knowledge when it comes to anything medical is next to nothing and I did not take the time to do any research so everything in this chapter and fic is complete thumb sucking. Also, English is not my first langue so it is very possible that my sentence construction and tenses and stuff are not 100% correct. **

**PS: I saw the movies a long time ago so though some stuff might resemble what happens in them I'm really just making this up as I go, my versions of the future are the only ones I'm taking into consideration so I ask that you bear with me, and where necessary to just go with it.**

**Thank you to everyone reading and reviewing.**

It has been six hours since Sarah Connor was injected the second time with the experimental drug from the future. John was relieved; that she lived through the first stage of the treatment was already an improvement since she has died in two previous time jumps. He has watched the disks and electronic journals several times and still his insides quivered every time he thought about what he had to do.

He saw future him on the screen; a man hardened by war, one that did what had to be done and while it gave him hope that he really was made of what was needed he also saw something he did not like...both of the older John Connors had a coldness in their eyes that he did not care for. The war against Skynet was clearly their only purpose, their only reason for carrying on. It was a noble cause of course, but perhaps not enough.

For the next two hours John goes over the journals again and again trying to find the point where it happened. He knows it is something that happens to one gradually but he has gone over the journals before and has a nagging feeling that there is a pivotal moment in there somewhere. In the first entries it is clear that he is nervous, scared even, not knowing how he is supposed to do what was expected of him.

The entries become shorter and John realises in both of the journals, belonging to two different older versions of himself, that though they begin as entries to a personal journal, for the purpose of getting things of his chest and keeping track of what happened when, later on they become informative – filled with opinions and advice - with the sole purpose of one day helping another him change what has happened.

He goes back two entries and the look in the eyes of a older, bearded John Connor cause him to not skip the first two minutes, which he had been doing since this part of every entry consists of him stating his name, surname, the date and time, their location, and a list of the names and surnames of everyone they had lost since the previous entry, along with the cause of death.

However, this entry the first fifteen seconds show a drained John simply looking at the camera, his mind clearly somewhere else. When his eyes regain some focus and he speaks his voice is hollow. His name, surname, the date and time, their location is stated, then silence...his eyes lose some of the gained focus and it is ten long seconds before three words hit John squarely in the chest. "Sarah Connor. Cancer."

This is why they injected his mother, she had died on two previous occasions and it is the reason projected 'Sarah_ Prolong Life' was created by future him in the first place, he knows all this but hearing himself say it and seeing himself experience it...through the haze of fear and anger and confusion, suddenly, all the different pieces of the puzzle slot into place and he is, for the first time, forced to see the big picture. Perhaps he had the potential to be the saviour of the human race but in that future that is all he has; the older Johns that he had been analysing were cold and unsuccessful because they were attempting to save the lives of thousands of people while they no longer had any desire to be alive themselves.

He irritably wipes the moisture from his eyes and shuts off the video feed. After taking a few calming breaths he walks to Cameron's room, along the way checking his watch. It has been eight hours and seven minutes. Once there he stops at the foot of the bed, needing to make sure she is really there. It is a strange feeling; being 21 and feeling like life is a shopping mall and at any moment you are going to turn around to find that the one person without whom you feel like you cannot possibly navigate your way out, is not there. It takes him a moment to notice the drip, the thought that she needed one never even crossed his mind and this serves to further convince him of how _not_ ready he is to do this without her.

Fifteen minutes after John made himself comfortable on a chair by the side of the bed she regains consciousness. He is already holding her shoulders when she starts struggling against a kind of pain unlike anything she has ever known. It feels like lava instead of blood is coursing through her veins. She hears noises and her brain connects them to her sons' moving lips but what he is saying becomes of no consequence the moment a needle enters her line of sight.

She tries to fight but her throat is dry, her vision blurry, her limbs heavy...the pain intensifies till her body gives out and drops back to the mattress. Gasping for air, the pounding of her heart gives way to John's voice. "Mom? Mom, can you hear me? It's morphine, okay...it's for the pain...don't fight me, please." Almost immediately a cool, soothing feeling washes over her. She makes eye contact with John and slips into a blissful sleep.

Taking a moment to make sure her heart rate settles means he sets the alarm for fifty-nine minutes later. He wants to let her sleep longer but as it is he is left with less than half an hour to talk to her before the third and final injection must be given, and this is one time where Sarah Connor refusing treatment is simply not an option.


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter 9

For the next fifty nine minutes John does not move from the side of the bed. Moments before the alarm is set to go off Adam enters with a small silver case. John finds it cool to the touch. "The formula needs to be kept at 6 °C." After he leaves John places the case on the bedside table. He nervously scratches behind his ear before taking Sarah's right hand in both of his. "Mom." He squeezes her hand and after the third time calling to her, feels her attempting to squeeze back. Her eyes open and close a few times, when he is sure she is looking at him he gives her a smile. "Hey mom. How are you feeling?" Instead of an answer a groan of discomfort fills the room as she moves to sit up. He tries to keep her calm while helping her. "Easy, take it easy. I'll help you sit up but we have to take it slow."

The look she gives him is not a friendly one and her voice indicates that her throat is very dry. "What the hell is going on?" After getting her as comfortable as possible in a more upright position he moves back to the chair. "Adam and I had a miscommunication." She looks even more displeased. "That leads to him sticking a needle in me?" John hands her a bottle of water. "Drink very slowly." He opens his mouth to start once, twice. Her voice is much stronger after drinking. "I was injected with something John, twice. I want to know what is going on now!"

He gets up and start pacing. "You die of cancer, in the future. You die of cancer. Can you believe it? We get into gunfights with robots from the future and break into high security facilities and we blow stuff up, and you die of cancer." He stops and looks at her. She is completely unresponsive until he sits down and takes her hand. "It's part of the reason I sent Adam back. I watched the journals again and again and I get lost mom, every time..." She opens her mouth but he is up and pacing before she can say anything. "The thing is that I have never owned up to any of this; I have avoided taking any kind of responsibility for as long as I could. I just keep passing it on to you, and that's not fair...you keep me safe, you make the decisions and the plans. You have made this mission your everything and I've just ignored and avoided it."

"John." He glances at his watch before looking at her. Her voice is back to normal now. "I am your mother." And he understands how that is enough for her, how it explains everything in her mind but he only has ten minutes left so he decides to get right to it. "Here's the thing, there are no more do-overs. I have played all my cards with this jump. So I need you to let me inject you in three minutes, then I need you to survive this treatment. And after that I need you to survive a whole lot longer cause I need your strength, I need your determination and your drive and whatever it is that keeps you going cause you never stop." He knows that he is rambling but he is figuring it out as he is going and there is no time.

He grabs the silver case from the bedside table and turns to her. "I know it sounds crazy and..." The rambling causes him to only register what she says after Sarah puts a hand on top of his, but his brain does not want to simply accept it. "What?" The white knuckle grip he has on the case instantly relaxes when she repeats. "Okay." He waits for more but she simply looks at him a moment longer and then turns her attention to the window. "You are probably gonna be out for another eight hours. Don't you have any questions?" At first she does not respond but the cell phone alarm prompts her to action. "How is she?" He is only slightly surprised that the first question is about Cameron. "Alive. Adam will know the second her vital signs change. The room is still off limits." She nods then looks right at him. "I am very proud of you."

"You are going to be fine. I haven't done anything yet. You can be proud later...much later, like sixty-years-from-now later. Okay?" Sarah can see that the knowledge that the procedure has never been successful is only really sinking in now that he has said it out loud. His nerves are starting to get the better of him. She takes the case from him and tries to keep her voice calm as she hands him the syringe. "Okay." His hand shakes a little as he moves it to her arm. "You are going to be fine." He says it just before sliding the needle into her arm. Looking right at her his voice is think with emotion. "You have to be okay. Please be okay." She tries to give him a smile but once again it feels like lava is being pushed through her body and the best that she can manage is a nod before giving in to the pull of a painless, dreamless unconsciousness.

John drops his head into his hands. He knows him sitting and staring at her won't change anything but it doesn't stop him from doing just that for the next hour. It is when Adam enters with a perimeter report that something occurs to him . Finding him in the kitchen preparing dinner, while very bizarre, is a also a welcome site since his stomach had been trying to get his attention for some time. "Is Cameron..." Adam answers when he hesitates. "The venductor, connected to the heart and lungs, auto-disconnected half an hour ago." "What?!" "The human organs are functioning without machine assistance and the success rate of the operation has risen to 45%." "Why didn't you tell me?" Adam places a plate of spaghetti bolognaise on the table and John digs in right away. "You did not request any updates aside from parameter reports." "Well I am requesting them now; updates on Cameron and my mother - any changes." "Order confirmed." He is just getting started on a second helping when Adam suddenly turns from his spot at the window. "Sarah Connors' temperature is increasing drastically."

He reaches her bedside in record time; sweat is just starting to form on her forehead. "She's shaking; she has a fever and she's shivering. What do we do?" He has to remind himself of what Adam is, and push down the rage at his unaffected state. "There is no action that can be taken that will affect her condition, she will survive and never suffer cancer or her system will reject the antibodies and genetically altered cells and fight against them until her body gives out." John feels his insides turn. Once again he can do nothing but wait.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N: Didn't proof read this one so a heads up and apologies for any and all mistakes. Thanks for reading.**

John places a fresh cloth on his mother's forehead, the memory of her inquiry concerning Cameron making him turn to Adam suddenly. "What will Cameron remember? You replaced her organs...her brain, is she going to have any memories? What about speech and stuff?" He answers while replacing the IV bag. "All memories up until the day she volunteered are imprinted into the donor brain, she should retain all of her knowledge and training. Everything since is stored on the chip, there is a device connected to her brain that enables you to upload video clips to the brain. As a fully functional human being these memories will just seem extremely vivid."

"You mean I have to go through everything she has ever seen...I don't need to see everything she's seen, I don't _want_ to see everything she's seen." "Viewing is not required; the files are very accurately labelled." He is even more relieved than he thought he would be. Getting up he glances at his mother before heading to the door, talking to himself more than anything. "That's some of the best news you've given me since showing up. Might as well get it done...not like there's anything else I can do..." he continues to talk-mumble as he moves down the hall.

Finding the memory files is easy and the descriptions are really...descriptive is the first word that comes to mind. He selects everything in the files labelled 'John Connor' and 'Sara Connor' but only from the last time jump. He has all the necessary data on the disks and in the journals, and he figures being human again is going to be enough of an re-adjustment; having to deal with memories from different trips might just be too much.

Once done he moves back to his mother's side, her temperature has increased to the point where John is waiting for her to simply burst into flames, which is why he is getting things together to take her to the hospital when Adam announces her temperature stopped climbing. "Fifteen minutes...if it does anything but go down I'm taking her." Adam walks towards him, picks up the bag and proceeds out the door. "Well that inspires confidence!"

He is agitated and scared and exhausted and when Adam comes back and informs him that his mother's temperature is slowly but steadily dropping he uses the last of his energy to grab a pillow and blanket from the chair, simply stating, "Wake me if anything changes" before collapsing on the sofa.

He dreams that the world is saved and safe. It's like _Alice in Wonderland_ meets _Charlie and the Chocolate Factory_: he sees a slightly older looking him standing in a kitchen, to his right Cameron is attempting to build one of those 3D puzzles that looks like it might be the Empire State Building. Sarah enters the room and comments that The Tower of Pisa is coming along nicely, this gets her a punch on the arm from Cameron who looks offended, but then a smile unlike any he has seem from her appears as soon as their eyes meet. Sarah responds with a sweet, caring smirk of her own. The atmosphere is energetic yet comfortable.

The John that he is watching tells them to cut it out and asks if they are going to actually do the whole barbeque thing, or can he just go get some pizza. Cameron is about to answer when a red haired woman enters and stops next to dream him. "John honey, don't be like that. You know today is to show Cameron what it's all about." Cameron places two particularly stubborn pieces back on the table. "Thank you Claire." She goes on to list facts about barbequing but before he or dream John can make a sarcastic comment another voice, from somewhere else, is heard.

"John Connor. Subject Phillips' condition has changed." After a few seconds of trying to find who the voice belongs to another one rings out, and this one he recognises immediately. "John!" The first voice registers as Adam and it informs her, the owner of the second voice that he is sleeping. He is tries to get his body to work with him and get up but it demands more than two hours sleep. The sound of a bullet entering the chamber of the .9mm has him up and alert without having to think about it.

His mother is on the bed, Adam is to his right and between them stands Cameron; gun aimed at Adam's head. Her clothes are covered in dry blood and her hair is a mess. Scars, thin and almost healed, across every visible part of skin cause her to look like a porcelain doll that someone glued back together with great care. He noticed all of this in seconds, but only after staring at her eyes for what feels like close to a whole minute, and it is to them he returns again after accessing her physical condition because in them is a fire - a fire only caused by human emotion, only possible for those who are alive, who are human.

She doesn't take her eyes of Adam. "John, are you alright?" It strikes him that she has no knowledge of Adam. "I'm fine Cameron. This is Adam." He makes a move towards the terminator but the way her finger moves against the trigger makes him choose another course of action. Once next to the bed he goes to pick up the thermometer and Adam reports instantly that Sarah's temperature has dropped and stabilised at what is considered normal body temperature. He forgoes the device but places his hand on her forehead needing to make sure for himself.

Cameron's gun-free hand is wrapped around the wrist closest to her, John assumed it was to check her pulse, and it did perhaps start out that way but now she is simply holding on, caressing the skin on Sarah's forearm with her thumb. "Cameron, I...future John sent Adam back." This draws her attention to him, but it returns to the terminator just as fast. He is not sure it does any good until she removes her finger from the trigger, taking this as a positive sign he continues. "I programmed him to find a historic building not likely to be renovated or demolished, and to remain on standby. The programme that detected that I am twenty-one reactivated him. He found us and followed orders, my orders. It was part of the plan."

This time she fixes him with a glare that could rival that of his mother, flicking her chin down at the woman on the bed as she snaps. "And this, is this part of the plan?!" The hand holding the gun shakes slightly, she closes her eyes and takes a deep breath. Adam speaks up, "Your system requires rest, the donor organs as well as re-exposed bone and muscle tissue needs time to adjust. You need to remain in the tank for at least another two hours, three for complete healing; it is an oxygen enriched environment with chemicals specifically designed to enhance healing."

Cameron takes another deep breath; her discomfort at doing something so simple is what motivates John to do the brave thing. "Cameron, you need to rest." She speaks through clenched teeth. "I don't have to follow orders anymore, I am _not_ a machine _anymore_." John's voice is strong. "It's not an order. This is my mother and I will look after her. She is in the third and final stage of a futuristic cancer treatment. I will send Adam to get you the second she wakes up. There is nothing any of us can do. "

She is clearly exhausted but still hesitant to leave so he plays the card that will guarantee him victory. "The last time she was conscious she asked about you..." Cameron looks surprised but very pleasantly so. "I told her you're doing fine, that you're gonna make a full recovery, don't ruin it." She doesn't look thrilled about it but she hands John the gun and walks to the door where she turns. "The second she wakes up...John, please." The last word is spoken softly and it is then that it really sinks in and he sees her for who she is; a woman not only willing but who _did_ give up everything for the cause, to save humanity, to protect him. No, not him...the words were spoken by future John so casually and yet they explain everything –

'_I showed her the family pictures I have, she kept asking about the Disneyworld rides and plants in the background, and the only video of mom she ever allowed me to take; we were playing snap...she loved that stupid game, or it was just cause I sucked so bad and she found my tantrums entertaining...I don't know. Anyway, Cameron volunteered right after that. I think she wanted to know the world we were trying to save...it's not like that now, it's hard to remember there's anything worth saving sometimes.' _John looks to his mother and wonders if it was perhaps not something other than the world in the pictures that Cameron wanted to know and save. He looks up and nods. "The second she wakes up. You got it."

She walks out and he sinks back into the couch, he never thought that he would ever value sleep above food but some wise guy once said 'never say never' and it would seem that he knew what he was talking about. He allows sleep to claim him and is met by red hair that means she will fight by his side, green eyes that makes a calm settle deep inside him and a smile that makes him believe that everything will be okay.


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

He jolts awake and it feels like he has been sleeping for days, "What time is it?" Adam is still standing in the exact same spot. " It is 22:53." He is very confused. "What day is it?" "Wednesday, September 17th." John swings his feet off the couch and rubs at his eyes. "So you're telling me I was out for just over an hour..." Adam's system interprets it as a question and responds. "It is probable that..."

John holds up a hand to make him stop before he truly begins to explain. "Don't. My brain doesn't feel like a soaked sponge for the first time in days...let's keep it that way." His attention shifts to his mother. "Any changes?"

Adam remains perfectly still while answering. "Condition remains stable." He welcomes the good news with a smile and allows his stomach to lead him to the kitchen. Once there he looks around, Adam enters behind him and takes up position in front of the window. Turning from the fridge he glances to the stove before turning his attention to Adam. "Can you make pancakes?"

Black. The world consists of a blackness that has no beginning and no end, her limbs are heavy and the smallest movement causes pain so intense it makes her nauseous, and white dots dance in front of her eyes. She turns to try and find something, anything that will give her a sense of where she is and where she needs to go. She knows she has to keep moving; air is pulled in and squeezed out through clenched teeth resulting in a hissing growl accompanying every step.

Movement becomes bearable and she pushes herself to move faster. She turns right and then left where she still sees nothing but a light breeze touches her face. It is like a breath of fresh air that makes her move in that direction without a second thought. It becomes stronger, she moves faster. There is something just ahead that she needs to reach, the wind gets stronger and stronger and she feels how the way out begins to move further away. She tries to leap but her muscles are too sore, her body too heavy...she reaches out but ends up short. Just as the feeling of falling sets in a hand wraps around her forearm.

"Hold on Sarah, don't let go. Stay with me." The voice sounds familiar but somehow different. Her heart wants to relax and let the voice carry her, but her mind and body are so use to fighting that that is what she does. It becomes more and more difficult with every word spoken, now in a calm tone and so close that she feels warm breath on her ear. "Breath Sarah. Just keep breathing."

She gasps, realises how deprived her lungs are and starts sucking in oxygen. The darkness begins to fade, the voice stays with her and becomes clearer. "Easy, slowly...slow deep breaths." This time she does as told without resisting and can feel some of the weight melt from her limbs. Her eyelids are heavy but on the third try she manages to keep them open long enough to register what is in front of her.

Cameron removes her hold on Sarah's shoulders the moment she stops struggling and places her on left hand on top of Sarah's right. She expects to be shoved away, to be yelled at, even a gunshot is on her list of possibilities. What is not, is Sarah giving her an almost curious look before reaching out to touch the tip of her left index and middle finger to the corner of Cameron's right eye, then the corner of her mouth. She catches it in her right when it breaks contact with her face, and moves her left to Sarah's pulse point when the hand in her grasp grows heavier, eye lids stop their twitching and her breathing evens out.

Her focus remains on Sarah's face as John comes through the door. "Mom...Cameron, what happened?" She does not look away for a moment. "She woke up." "And?" When she does not respond Adam takes a step closer. This has her up, around and aiming at him in an instant. "Cameron, are serious?" The look she throws him makes it clear that she is.

"Look, I understand where you're coming from but you are now here; a present where I use re-programmed terminators to travel back to me to try and get the upper hand." John steps next to Adam. "That's the plan so until Adam gives us a reason I am going to keep telling you to put away the gun...just like I kept telling my mother when she wanted to shoot you." Cameron lowers the gun almost immediately and walks out without another word.

John rubs a hand over his face and releases a frustrated sigh before turning his attention to Adam who is checking Sarah's vitals. "So she made it, she's going to be fine?" He turns from her with a vial of blood. "Blood work will confirm but there is a 82% chance that she will make a full recovery." John walks to the couch. "That's good, that's great."

She walks from one side of Sarah Connors' bedroom to the other for a third time. She is so angry that she wants to break something, shoot something...correction, she wants to break and shoot Adam the terminator She looks to the left and her reflection causes her focus to shift, the anger and frustration drains from her and she tosses the gun on the bed on her way to the mirror. She places her fingertips where Sarah's had been moments ago. She doesn't know what she expected to see; there is no metal sticking out, no glowing eyes, a few scars she remember having is gone and a few she does not remember is visible but other than that...

"Cameron." She turns to find him standing in the doorway, so much younger than the John she went to war with, with no idea what might lie ahead, and yet somehow he seems more whole than the one she knew. John Connor, leader of the resistance, never stopped, he never gave up and he never left a human behind but she also never saw in him the kind of determination and complete awareness of what it meant to be John Connor, that she found in the eyes looking at her now.

"I just wanted to check on you, I forget that you're...it must be really strange" he motions around the room. "all of this is new, isn't it?" She collects her thoughts before answering. "Yes it is. I have...memories of being a terminator, but it's like they're not mine; stuff happens but there's no emotion – I don't feel anything, I see expressions and I hear words but they have no meaning." She subconsciously rubs at the corner of her eye.

John points to his face when he asks, "Did she say something." Cameron takes a moment to catch on. "I think she wanted to, I don't know what." John doesn't meet her eyes when he hazards a guess. "Lines, you have lines." Her expression causes him to elaborate. "At the corners of your mouth and eyes...you have lines. You didn't have those." She turns to the mirror and finds that there are indeed a few, hardly visible, they can't even really be called lines...such a harsh word. Tilting her head she looks at John's refection, the question is asked hesitantly. "So you're I was perfect?" His expression is serious and "I'm saying you weren't human."

**Thank you for reading.**


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

"_So you're saying I was perfect?" His expression is serious. "I'm saying you weren't human."_

An awkward silence follows but John does not allow it to last long. "Adam said that you should try to eat something." He sees that she keeps glancing at her reflection. "You got out sooner than you should, when Adam said at least another three hours in the tank, he meant it. You barely made an hour; that's why you look older. We are going to have to come up with something else, there's no way you're gonna pass as my older sister..." He sees the look directed at him and immediately goes into damage control mode. "I mean off course you _could _pass as my older sister I'm just not sure if you want to...but if you did I'm sure no one will even notice..."

Cameron turns away from the mirror and takes pity on him.

"John...I would prefer if we could come up with a way for me to not be related to you."

A smile appears while he backs out the door.

"Exactly, yeah...that's what I was getting at. There's pancakes so, you know, if you want some...or something else, we have...all kinds of stuff so you just say what you're in the mood for and..."

Cameron gives a tight lipped smile and a stiff nod. "Thank you."

John gives her a crooked smile and disappears down the hall.

She wants to go back to staring at herself but knows it won't change anything. Her insecurities about her looks is new since there was no time or reason to be concerned about that in a war zone. Besides, in the future there was only one person she hoped would find her attractive and she was dead. Her thoughts are interrupted by a noisy announcement from her stomach; she might have more important things to think about but her body clearly needs no reminder that being able to eat is no longer an infiltration technique.

Entering the kitchen she finds John happily chewing on what she deduces must be a 'pancake'. As soon as he spots her John swallows.

"Hey. You want some?"

He watches her as she takes in the mess that's on his plate. "You ever had pancakes?" When the response is negative he gets up. "We'll start you off with just cinnamon and sugar, you can work your way up to the more..." He points to his own plate. "...exotic extras later." After handing her a knife and fork he retakes the seat across from her.

"So, no pancakes in the future...that sucks."

She cuts a small piece. "It was mostly canned foods; easy to transport, quick to prepare."

John does not look happy at all. "Heat and eat. That's not good, we need to stop this apocalypse...I don't like anything out of a can..."

Cameron swallows her first bit of pancake and finished the sentence for him.

"Except peaches in syrup."

She expected him be at the very least surprised but he takes it in his stride.

"Yeah, good to know that doesn't change."

She is almost finished when he gets up for another helping. "So, what do you make of THE PANCAKE?" The last part is spoken like its some kind of mystical object and gets a genuine smile from Cameron.

"It's really good."

John is about to list everything they will be having for breakfast in the coming days but her expression becomes a sad-serious that makes him hesitate long enough for her to continue.

"I...remember, if you can call it that, things about being here...in this time, in this house. They are so vivid and precise, more like video recordings...and I see myself doing things and even eating but I feel nothing, I taste nothing...like it's a movie starring me in the role of a me that I do not know."

He waits for her to keep going but realises she is not going to when she sits back down and starts eating her second pancake far less enthusiastically than the first. He swallows the last of his third pancake and takes a healthy sip of coffee before speaking.

"Technically they are recordings, I had the option of uploading some of the files to your memory bank or to leave you completely blank with no knowledge of anything since you travelled back. I chose to give you some."

She remains silent.

"That is what I thought best. I know you did extensive research on the politics and stuff but even that isn't always the same second time round and being here without knowing anything...I wanted you to know of some of the good you did, even with the original terminator programming making this difficult...you saved her and me more than once."

Her expression in sincere. "Thank you." She hesitates. "John, about Sarah..."

"That's my name."

John whips around; they are both surprised when a third voice joins the conversation, even more so when she walks in and goes straight for the coffee maker. John is at her side in an instant, he glances down the hall where she just came from.

"Mom. Where's Adam?"

She moves to the drying rack and takes the biggest mug possible. Her voice is raspy and though she's trying to hide it, her discomfort clear.

"I threw a grenade and ordered him to go fetch."

For the second time that morning John swings his head around fast enough to cause dizziness. Sarah on the other hand becomes completely still. Her grip on the mug tightens, when she looks to the side its clear she is just barely containing a grin, but she catches herself and looks serious and unaffected when John turns to her before looking back at a chuckling Cameron.

Cameron shakes her head while moving towards Sarah, their eyes meet and Sarah looks away immediately which is how she notices the medium sized mug in her hand. Cameron's stops an arm's length away and places the mug on the counter. Sarah watches as the mug is pushed towards her but when it stops and the hand stays wrapped around it she looks up. Cameron holds her gaze for a moment before shifting her attention to the counter, Sarah's eyes drop also but shoot back up instantly with a displeased frown between them.

A glass of water; Cameron had placed a tall glass of water right in front of her while keeping a hold on to the coffee. The message is perfectly clear: drink the one and you can have the other.

For a moment she considers just doing it, but then the Sarah stubbornness kicks in and she holds her ground. She glances at the coffee maker over Cameron's shoulder - she could simply make her own coffee – then to the steaming mug on the counter, the glass of water and then back at Cameron. Something, everything about the situation is weird; and what makes it even more so is that it does not feel weird to her at all...interaction with non-terminator Cameron is almost comfortable. She makes a decision and downs the water in one go.

The moment the empty glass touches the counter it is removed and the steaming mug of black coffee is put in its place.

"So, did you ever order me to fetch anything explosive?"

Her instinct is to be aggressively defensive but she sees the slight smile and finds herself smirking.

"No, but I did think about it a couple times."

John is so fascinated by the interaction that he can't bring himself to do anything other than observe. The first sip of coffee has Sarah closing her eyes and releasing a satisfied hum.

Cameron just watches her for a moment before she turns back to the table.

"Future John was extremely accurate in his description of you."

Before the 'what' is out of her mouth Cameron speaks again.

"You should try to eat something. But not pancakes, something light."

Sarah tries again but Cameron is not giving her a change for obvious reasons and keeps talking.

"With the medication still in your system..."

Sarah takes a step towards her but she just glances at her and continues. "...anything difficult to digest will result in nausea, stomach ache, potential..."

John decides if there is ever a time to remind them of his existence, now is it.

"So mom, how are you feeling, all things considered?"

She takes a moment to look from Cameron, who she has been watching very intently since the 'Future John' comment.

"All things considered, I've been worse."

It is clear that there is only one thing she is interested in discussing and her health is not it.

He is cut off by Cameron who hurriedly places her dishes in the sink.

"I am going to go. John, you should make sure your mother eats something light, and she still requires plenty of fluid and rest. I will find Adam." The last part is said as she steps through the back door.

John watches her go, then turns his attention to his mother to find she was doing the same thing. He shrugs as he speaks.

"So...humans still have the same evasive techniques 20 years from now."

Sarah's gaze remains on the door.

"Good. So the same interrogation techniques will work."

John grins but it falters quickly and his expression becomes just as serious as hers and what he says gets her undivided attention immediately.

"Mom, speaking of future me...he wants to talk to you."


End file.
